she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
