Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
