I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
it was like eating out sand paper
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
