If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
