When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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