i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
