so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
