I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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