Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Of course I have a pirate flag
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
