This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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