you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
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