You smell like stripper and shame
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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