im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
i've created a new STD.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
is it fun? or sober?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
