How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
