butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
