it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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