You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
