i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
