I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
