People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
