Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
home. puking in laundry basket.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
