i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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