this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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