Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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