Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
