I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
