I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
