That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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