her vagine was all disorganized.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
