dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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