Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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