Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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