If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
