is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
