Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
