I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
