my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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