She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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