you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My life is pants optional.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
