About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
