this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
