shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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