You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
