I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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