it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Drunk walkin through police station. America
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
