i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
