put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
