I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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