just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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