I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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