i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
