allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Your cock deserves a montage
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
