Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
